Like Attracts Like Podcast 818: Why Is SELF Love Is The Answer... And How To Finally Allow It

unconditional love Jun 06, 2023

Self realization... The awakening from one aspect of your self as a separate, fear based, limited anxiety ridden character, to the most powerful, loving and expansive expression of the one SELF of consciousness.... That's you... That's who you are.  The reason we don't allow this to be what we express, is because we are unconsciously running our sense of "self" as a program. A program that contains all of our experiences, judgments, and beliefs.  Your life and reality is showing you a reflection of this "self" so that you can become aware of who you are allowing yourself to be..  Typically through suffering we begin to ask the "WHY" question... Why are these things happening..  On the other side of that question is the answer ... Because it is who you believe you are.. what you feel you deserve.. or how you think the world works..   You are here to realize your SELF in a new way.. without all of those programs running on a loop.. You are here to allow yourself to show your SELF that you are more powerful than any program of ego..  It only requires your permission, and bravery to LOVE your SELF in all ways...  Today we dive in deeper than ever, and talk about the journey towards loving your SELF in a way that we have never done before.. Join me inside !!!   If you found any value in todays post please feel free to Share, Subscribe or Follow :) It truly does help the show!!    Much Love    ~Pat  


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Episode 818: Why SELF Love Is The Answer... And How To Finally Allow It

By Pat Mahan


Hey everybody, welcome back to today's episode of the Like Attracts Like Podcast. Thank you so much for joining me on the show today. In today's show, we are going to be talking about something that, if we can really grasp the truth here, we can allow ourselves to be free for many of the cages that we actually put ourselves in. There's a process that we're going to be talking about today in this self-realization journey that will allow us to uncover the answer to a very important question, and that is why is loving yourself so hard? Why is it so difficult to accept yourself, to love yourself, to express yourself, to allow yourself to be yourself in more than just your room, while you're dancing to your favorite songs or lip syncing to something on the radio when no one's watching? Why is it that when we step out into the we'll call it world, we feel like we need to morph or change ourselves into something else for some reason?

Finding the answer to this and understanding the process is the beginning of freeing yourself from those chains, and it may not seem like it's that important now, because it's just the way the world works, but I'm here to offer you a different perspective and tell you from the other side that I believe it is what we came here to do to know ourselves and to express ourselves and our gifts in the world, because giving is receiving. And when you see that, when we come from the separate self that feels it needs to morph in this world to fit in, then giving is not receiving. We need to receive in order to feel. Well, there's a whole new way to play this game and we're going to talk about it in a way that we've maybe never talked about it before. Stick around, we're diving in deep when we come back.

All right, all right, once again, here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for joining me on the show today. If you are a new listener to the show, my name is Pat and I work with people through all aspects of our what you might call a self realization journey or an awakening journey, to overcome and find perspective on the stories from our past so that you can really enter the moment you are in, knowing truthfully who you are, so that you can live in full faith, going forward inside of the flow of life instead of resisting it. I feel like this is something that most people, most human beings, can hear and resonate with, because there is always one of these things at play inside of the moment that you're in. There's either a narrative from our past that we are either aware of, or it's really deep, unconscious, in some sort of a block state that is causing us to do things in the world or behave in the world, or shift or morph in the world to try to get something we think we need. That typically is preventing us from allowing a peaceful state of being in the moment we're in and literally living in the moment we are in as the most loving, peaceful, expansive version of who we are, and when we can't do that, then we're not actually deliberately, if you will, flowing with or creating with or co-creating with life. What we're doing is we're trying to control and manipulate life, to bend or bow to us in whatever ways we feel it needs to in order for us to feel okay. If you really really look at life and what your narrative is about your life and about yourself, you will see a very interesting connection, and that is, if we really dive deep into this.

Whatever your viewpoints of life are, however you feel life treats you, however you feel life holds opportunities for you or not. It can be directly traced back to one thing, and here is why so many humans have a hard time acknowledging this, and I myself, for really almost all of my life, also had a hard time with this. So I feel you This is because I went through this that I can share this with you. The reason we have a hard time tracing this back to ourselves is because there's so much about what we are doing or believing or thinking that we are unconscious of. There's so much that we are denying we're doing because we are justifying our reasons for doing them And the justifications for the reasons we are doing, we're not doing.

Most of the things that we either want to do or don't want to do come, and only come, from our past story, the story of ourselves, the story of what we feel we are in this world, and that's typically based off of how we were treated or what we saw growing up, the patterns and conditioning of other humans that we were around, the stories and the projections of other humans and their belief systems that we unconsciously accepted as our own program, therefore running underneath the surface of our life. So when we're talking about a self-realization game or an awakening story I've said this before and it's my favorite thing to say really is most people. When we talk about this in those terms, which are becoming more familiar, but they have been less familiar in the past people are like well, what are you talking about? I don't think it applies to me And we say, well, we're essentially talking about a human being waking up to who they truly are, as they see the patterns and conditioning that they were, allowing themselves to operate in the world as finding the authentic you, without words to describe you, seeing that there is what appears to be a you that is not connected to or attached to any of the limiting story, any of the story at all, any of the expectations, any of the control, any of the manipulation. All of that is contained in what's called the personal mind, the egoic story, the you that you thought you were. That is not you, but depending upon how attached you were to those ideas or those belief systems, that character, if you will being you, that is how challenging you will find the journey of awakening beyond it.

So most people are locked in this behavior, locked in these patterns of thinking. Some people get to the point where they are aware of new thought, they're aware of new ideas, new concepts, new senses of self, from this powerful place, knowing what they need to do to break the patterns, and still won't do it, not because they can't, but because they're too locked into the old identity and the story of that identity just goes. Well, that's the way it is, this is the way I am, and I've been doing this for a long, and it's all bullshit. It's all bullshit, but we have a choice and we can choose to believe that old story and stay stuck in it, and there's nothing wrong air quotes are again wrong with that It's just simply a choice that has an outcome, and that's why it's only the people who really want a different outcome that do this.

So what I mean by that is I work with people from all over, and the one thing that's been consistent is that the people who shift are the people who want to, and the people who don't are either not aware that they can or they're aware that they can and they choose not to. And again, there are no wrong answers here. You don't have to do any of this. But there's an interesting thing that seems to continue to happen with people, and that is that it seems as almost as though it's happening and you're either going with it or fighting it. So I want to say that again, because I can't explain how important that theme has been in my life. It's this transformation, this awakening, this process of knowing yourself without these attachments, so that you can actually be yourself in this world. It seems like the world, our reality, your reality is designed for this to happen, and that's a lot of what this show focuses on The idea that your reality, your experiences, are a mirror of you, and they're designed not to punish you but to show you where you might be off in your idea of who or what you are.

And the reason that I believe the film of suffering and I put parentheses or air quotes around that too the reason the suffering aspect is so important is because the suffering doesn't have really anything to do with the pain that we feel in most cases emotionally. Again, there are extremes and anomalies on both ends of this spectrum, but for the most part, the people who are in the middle. There may have been something unwanted that happened. There may have been something traumatic that happened. There may have been some event that didn't really go the way we initially wanted it to or planned it to, and that hurts, that's pain, and I believe that that uncomfortability is a part of the human experience And to try to change that is equally going to cause pain. But the suffering we apply after the fact, and the application of that film or blanket of suffering, comes from a narrative, the narrative that we unconsciously play out over the event that we replay in our heads over and over and over again, and it causes suffering which is like perpetually reliving the event and creating more pain from it, and the suffering that we create around a lot of these events in our life.

This negative, blanketed story is not your own. It's not you. It's not who you are. It's something you're listening to and you believe it's you because you've been programmed to believe that it's you. You were never taught that it's not you. You were never taught that the voice in your head is not you, that you are the one listening to it, and it sounds wild that there should be even a distinction here, but it's the most important one, because when you think that that voice, which is just a program of other people's voices, or the ego's identification of a separate self, when you think that's you, you do crazy things to try to give it what it wants or to believe what it says, and believe what it says about you and the world and life, and it's only offering, in most cases, one side of the story. You are the one who is aware of both sides of the story and you, as this powerful being, have this interesting way of being subjectively capable of choosing what ideas or concepts you want to listen to, that you're not stuck listening to that voice, no matter how attached you are to believing it's you.

So the suffering film that we put over the events that happened in the we'll call it past. That can go away, that can be listened to and dealt with and challenged. So something happens in your life and it wasn't that great Bad breakup Lost all your money, lost your houses, didn't get the promotion, whatever, pick something that might be relevant. So there's an event that happened and it initially was shocking. It initially really really sucked, it hurt, there was pain attached, and that is, of course, okay, it's part of this process.

But after that, what we do from the position of not knowing who we are and allowing some other filter to convince us who we are starts to talk about what happened to ourselves, starts to tell us that it's because we were this, it's because we weren't good enough, it's because so-and-so is better, and they've always been better and I've never had anything go my way And this is just the way the world works. And you know, whatever, since I was a little kid, i've always been left out. I've never gotten what I wanted. My brothers and sisters always got what they wanted and I never got anything And of course I didn't get this promotion. Of course they left me for someone else.

But think about the dialogue that we have and we're just like uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's right, it's all garbage. It's all garbage and it is what creates the suffering loop in your life. And what happens is, since we're unconscious of that voice being so powerful for so long, we don't understand that it's literally our attention to it and are nodding our head in agreement with it That keeps creating the same experiences in our life, keeps creating the same loops for us to walk into Again, not to punish us, but to show us what we're giving our attention to.

And if you are giving your attention to the voice that creates that much suffering in your life again, not good or bad It's just showing us that, from that vantage point, we don't have full access to the truth of who we are. We're still clinging to or attaching our sense of self to something that is a lie in relationship to who you are. Now here's the interesting part again, you need the lie in order to know the truth. So what I mean by that is that if you didn't attach your sense of self to this separate mind, body, character in the world and get scared and suffer and feel this, and feel that if you didn't have an experience where you were connected to that limited self, you wouldn't be able to know the truth of who you are. You would have no frame of reference, no context, there would be no contrast for you to understand who you are so that you could balance the two. But what I do here, inside of this content and the work that I do, the programs that I run, every single thing is based off of someone who is waking up to this idea, to this truth, being able to integrate these higher conscious concepts into life so that we can move beyond that voice, move beyond that limited self, move beyond the limited character in the story and the chaos it creates from not knowing who it is, and trying to convince you that you are that, so that you can live in peace.

And today I want to get into the core of what this show is about. It was a long lead-in, but it was necessary And that's because the reason we listen to the voice, the reason that we do what it says, the reason that we suffer because of it, it's because we believe it's who we are. We don't understand that there's something preventing us from moving beyond it And I can't stress this enough, i don't even know how to stress this enough The reason why we don't move beyond the vicious voice of what the ego projects onto you and your awareness is because there's a part of you that feels you deserve it, there's a part of you that feels that it's accurate, there's a part of you that just succumbs to the will of the ego and its control and manipulation. Because there's a part of you that is disconnected from who you actually are and your power to move beyond it. So you let it continue to create the suffering in your life. And the next question is well, how do I move beyond it? And the answer is, and will always be, and I'm telling you, will never not be.

It is to the degree that you allow yourself to love and accept yourself for any and all of the reasons that you are conscious or unconscious of, that prevent you from loving yourself. That sets you free from the voice. And I wanna explain why. I've never said it like this before. The reason why it is the initial diving into uncovering and accepting and loving of all that you have pushed into the shadows of you is because when you access love as your primary intention not loving someone because you want something from them, not loving someone because they said they loved you, not trying real hard to force yourself to oh, oh, oh, oh, because I have to, because they're family, and oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Nope, none of that When you allow yourself to know that you are love itself in your truest form, your highest self, if you will, that's the you that allows yourself to no longer be attached at all to any story that suggests anything is separate, anything is less than anything. Shouldn't be the way that. It is that there is a bad or a good. There can't be. You wouldn't know one without the other. So therefore one's necessary, regardless of which way you are tilting your head.

When you get to the highest place and zoom out, highest place as humans that we can, there is no narrative of other and there is an unbelievable ability to just feel and know yourself as love. And I know that down here, in the earthly realm of relationships, it can be really challenging to access that, which is why this is a process. But from that place and we've all had a glimpse of it we've all had a glimpse of feeling really really, really good or really really open, or really really just grateful and expansive and loving, and you just know in that moment that, like all things are kind of possible. We've all had them, even if you're just like nope, never. That's a lie. Don't believe that. Everyone has had some part in their life, some point, where you felt so good, even if it was for two minutes. You felt so good that you were like I feel like on top of the world, i feel like I can really do anything. You may have crashed right after that and fell back into the old program, but we've all had access to that And from that place, to make this point, you can tell a lie when you hear it. That's really important. You can tell a lie when you hear it when someone or you is talking about their potential or their story.

When you are in a great mood and you're at work or you're at a family gathering and I mean you're just really like you're free from it. You are in a good mood that day and like wanna get stuff done and you're moving around and you're like, wow, i could really move the needle forward today. All that stuff that I said about why I procrastinate and why I don't do anything and why I hate myself and all these other people like, wow, today that doesn't apply. Today is a good day. I'm not even in the same resonance or frequency of that old conversation. You are in consciousness, above not better or worse than just above that limited lower story that a lot of people listen to. For this day we're talking about you're not there, you're not at the frequency of it, you're ready to go and move and you feel good.

And then if someone comes up to you and they're like, hey, god just can't do anything, the life is just everything's, again You're like stop it, stop it, stop it. You can feel the lie, even if they're saying the same thing you said yesterday. From this place. You can feel the lie because it is more truthful to live authentically, knowing that you can do whatever you want. You just have to choose it and not feel you're a victim to the life that has caused you to do the things you do. You can wake up to how powerful you are. Everyone can. It's who you actually are, but you have to come down here and disguise yourself as something that you're not so that you can wake up to who you are.

And even then, it's still a choice as to whether or not you want to do it. There are many people who are well aware of how powerful they are and how expansive they are and the impact and gift that they have to share, and they're like, yeah, no, i'm good, i'm just I'm not going to do that, i'm gonna sit and sulk and complain, not because they even want to. They don't know how to do something different, They're not ready to, or they'll say they're ready but they're not willing, because willing means you move in this world and you take different action. You speak to people differently, from a different place. You start to make it a habit to only do things that you choose to do, so that you can't complain that you're not doing something that you wouldn't do otherwise.

So why is it so important to love yourself And why is it so difficult, even if we know that it is the thing that brings us freedom, it's the thing that brings us peace, joy. Why is it so hard to break these patterns, in this conditioning? It's because the us that we used to think we were only had probably brief access to what love actually is, and in most cases, the love we experienced, or what we thought was love, was conditional. Because when it comes from ego and this goes for other people in your life your parents, your guardians, your siblings they're on the journey also. So that means that they were programmed and conditioned to give and get love conditionally as well. So how many of us were brought up in an experience where it was like, do this or else, if you do this, then you can get this. You love me, right? Well, then go clean your room. If you love me, you'll do this.

So many humans from all over the world have a story that says that they morphed themselves. They figured out who they needed to be in order to get love from people that they felt they needed love from, because they thought those people were outside of them. And of course, we do with that vantage point of this game. It's designed that you think you're separate. It's designed that you are scared of everything. It's designed that you rely on other people who also probably don't have there together. It's designed that way. We're all walking each other home. But it takes power. It takes someone to realize their power, to overcome the power, or what seems to be power, of that limiting story, until you realize from your place of power that that story is powerless completely. But you have to access this within yourself to be able to move beyond it. You're only proving it to yourself, not to anyone else. So the reason it's challenging is because this separate self is just a conditioned pattern that you thought was you and it's been trained to get love and give love conditionally.

When you shipped in this Self-Realization game to searching within yourself for why you feel disconnected to yourself and you let the connection to yourself and your truth be the primary intention, you raise in frequency of consciousness, which means you raise your sense of self to a more universal, expansive understanding. There are different ideas, there are different concepts, there are different truths, there are way different beliefs. There's a different acknowledgement of who you are, and it's connected to infinity and the source of self itself, and there is nothing that can stand in the way of that, no matter how powerful your ego claims itself to be. You are more powerful than any program you've been running. But I want to leave you with what I feel the most important part is, and there's something tangible that can absolutely actually set you on the path of becoming free from it. Because all this information is great, but what do you do with it? And the fix is realizing yourself as the one who can love yourself and accept yourself fully.

The job, the work, is realizing that you yourself have the power and are the source of love and acceptance that can forgive you, all of you, every single version of you. It's not coming from your parents. It's not coming from your partner. It's not coming from your spouse. It's not coming from your sisters. It's not coming from your boss. It's not coming from random people on Instagram. It's not coming from anyone on TikTok. It's not coming from anyone anywhere. But you.

If you take nothing away from this podcast today, understand that the separate self of ego that has been created by patterns and conditioning is designed to get stuff from other people so it feels different, and who you truly are has loved every single version of you that you felt you needed to be along the way, no matter what you've done, no matter what's been done to you, no matter what experiences you've had, no matter how sad you've been, no matter how angry you've been, no matter how any emotion you've been For any reason at all, the fullest essence of you is not going outside of yourself to fix or heal these things. It's simply acknowledgement that you are the one that you've been looking for. No one is coming to save you. I promise you. It's you, and it sometimes seems to be the hardest thing to do is to let go of the responsibility from the outside world about why you do what you do and feel the way you feel, and know that it's not possible that they're the reason. They are a reflection of you, it's all you. You're the only one in the room And ego wants to make it really convenient for you to forget that, because then it gets to keep running its program and it gets to keep pointing the finger outside and it gets to keep saying I'm this way because of this thing and you get to keep believing it and living in that chaos and that's suffering perpetually.

But there is another way, and the beautiful thing is that it doesn't rely on anyone or anything else for you to be free from this. You just have to allow yourself to know that you are these things, and the way you prove yourself and prove that you are these things is with yourself. It's beautiful because you can't bullshit yourself when you accept and love all of the versions of yourself, all parts of you that turned your back on you and agreed with or believed other people who said you were less than or suggested that you couldn't do it or that you weren't enough or that you weren't chosen. It wasn't them that made you feel the way you feel. It was you. It was when you believed it. When you believed the lie, you turn your back on yourself.

And when you turn your back on yourself, you begin to express yourself from a very, very deep place of sadness, and the conditional ego takes over and tries to fill that sadness that you're feeling by saying I'll control and take over this, i'll manipulate everything to make sure I get exactly what I want. And it's never enough, because it doesn't technically exist. It's just a projection of a program And it's got your name on it. So the work is inside. And the reason why again, i can't stress it enough is because when you have accepted all versions of yourself, when you have loved and forgiven all versions of you and the current you that you are now, when you are fully in love with the truth of you and your potential to be able to forgive and love at that level and there's no one that can convince you otherwise, because you've already done it with yourself and you were your own worst enemy When you can stand in that love and power, because you've proved it to yourself, you will see everyone else as you as well And you will judge less, if at all. Your anger and rage and hate will be almost eliminated because you will see everyone else on the same journey as you, because they are you And you, from your place of forgiving and loving yourself, will be able to apply the same filter to other people who need it most.

And now, just as an asterisk here, because I know how confusing this could be at a certain part of the journey, where ego tries to run back in, you're not saying that you're, if you're seeing someone do a horrible thing, that you love them. You're not loving what they do. You're understanding the program they're running and you can love yourself enough that, if it were to come into your space, you are no longer a match to that energy. Therefore, you're not perpetuating it. The buck stops here. It stops the chain, if you will, of that energy stops with you. When it comes into your presence, there's nowhere for that energy to go but back to the person who's trying to project it, because they are not willing to dive in themselves. So when you shift internally and clear all of this energetic blah, blah, blah, blah within yourself, it's not in you to be reflected back to the person so that you can share their rage and anger and hate. Even if you think you're being self-righteous and you're on the good side of the fight, it doesn't matter. If there's a fight, it's the energy of fight.

So this is a question that I get often and that is like so I'm supposed to love this person? who did that? That's ego trying to get you to not love the person. You're not loving what they do. You're not condoning it. You're not saying you want more of it because I love everything and everything is me. You're saying that you understand that this person is running a program and you understand also, empathetically, that it really has got to suck to have that program. So how do you help the situation? by not having the same energy of the program. How do you not have the same energy of the program? Finding what part of you contains that program within you, for whatever reason it does, and you love and forgive it within yourself so that you're no longer a match to it in your reality. And you will see, because this life is a mirror of you you'll see the reflection change. You'll see how powerful your shift in the world is and what kind of an effect it will have, not only in your life, because you will be able to authentically give from this place, but in the lives of other people, because they are one with you, they're connected to you, and giving and receiving are one thing, and that is what I wish for each and every single one of you.

Thank you so much for taking the time to hang out with me today, and what I feel is really really one of the most important parts of this process of understanding, so that you can actually dive into the process. Even though there's only one moment and you're in it, there appears to be what seems to be, or feel like, a linear process happening, and it's ego that experiences time, because the fullest truth of you is timeless And there is a way to live from that place more powerfully, at least, than you ever have. So, again, thank you so much for taking the time to share with me on the show. If you're looking actually to learn a little bit more about the process that I teach, as we said in the beginning of the show, in the intro, there's a free masterclass below. You can click that link right wherever you're listening to this, and there's a free transformation and manifestation masterclass where I talk about this process, which was taken from the 21-day challenge that we do often.

We made the challenge something that you could do right now on your own, at your own pace. So the masterclass explains that process And then, for anyone interested, there's even a link that you can take the challenge right away if you are interested. If you have any questions, of course, you can message me on any of the social media platforms where you can email me at [email protected]. Until next time, have an amazing day, a wonderful night, and I will see you soon. 

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